Single, Secure and Surrendered!
Living life to the full while waiting on the Lord

Rebekah Weidner, October 2007

"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in unfailing love...We wait in hope for the Lord, he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name."
Psalm 33: 18, 20-21

As one of my best friends aptly put it, as single women, many of us are in the "waiting room" of our lives. Waiting to find our future mate while fluctuating between hopefulness and desperation. Waiting to see where our career will go or not go. And for many, trying to "keep God in the picture" while we figure it all out.

The Questions of Security

In my own search for meaning in life and love, insecurity has run deep, and Satan has known exactly where to attack.

Will I be successful? In college, my search for success in the business world, as well as desire to fit in with classmates, led me down some dark roads. I began to abandon security in God and attempted to place my life into my own hands. I flirted with drinking, and often felt deep wells of insecurity when I did not achieve "success" in the way that I expected.

Will I be alone? Having never dated (or really come close) this question often surfaces in my heart. Insecurities from being teased for my appearance as a child make it difficult to be secure in friendships with the opposite sex. It is easy to doubt God's plans in that area of my life, and I end up guarding my heart in fear of rejection. My love life can be a difficult area to let go and let God.

While facing these fears and uncertainties, I am grateful for the perspective I continue to find in God’s Word. In moments when these questions arise, it’s helpful to know that I always have a safe place to turn and a good and perfect plan to discover.

Satan's Lies to Single Women

I have realized that when we are not completely surrendered to God, Satan seizes the opportunity to set up camp in our hearts. He craftily carries out his schemes by whispering in our ears, telling us that God is most likely denying us the good we deserve...

Satan's Whispers versus God’s Truth

Satan: "If you were a 'better' Christian, then maybe God would have already blessed you with what you desire."

The Bible: "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless." Psalm 18:30

Satan: "Maybe if you dress a little sexier you will have better luck attracting a boyfriend."

The Bible: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Satan: "To achieve success in the working world, it’s normal to make a few minor spiritual sacrifices."

The Bible: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Satan: "God loves ________ more than you because He has blessed her with a great husband, job, etc."

The Bible: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3

Satan: "Maybe God will never bless you with a spiritual man, so you need to start looking elsewhere."

The Bible: "…but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." Psalm 34:10

When we listen to Satan’s whispers, we begin to doubt God's plans, and ultimately his goodness. I love the verse in Psalm 34:10 where the Bible tells us "those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." Think about it. Do you really believe deep down in your heart, that as a Christian woman, God has denied you NO good thing? In believing God's goodness to us, we can learn to renounce the lies of Satan as we seek security in God alone.

My Search for Security

I don't feel that my search for security has ceased. But God has brought me a long way to teach me about his goodness and love. In fact, He led me all the way to Kiev, Ukraine!

A year ago when I graduated from college, I was not standing in a secure place spiritually. Just a few weeks before graduation, I hit a low point, going out with friends and willfully getting drunk. Though I never felt as though I would walk away from my faith, I was definitely trying to fill my life with things other than the Lord. And then I wondered why He wasn't blessing me with what I desired.

I went home that summer to reconnect and recoup from what felt like failed career ventures. As I meditated on my life and decisions, it became increasingly clear that God wanted more from me than what I was currently giving. That’s when He led me to a radical decision to move to Kiev to serve the church.

Being in a foreign place with a difficult language and culture has forced me (at times against my will) to look to Him for strength and security. Through long and hard sessions of prayer and surrender, God has shown me that only his plans are good and right. He has given me amazing experiences and spiritual revival.

Security in Surrender

Through my move to the Ukraine, God has taught me a lesson about the true meaning of surrender. He has shown me that "waiting on him" is not something passive. When I tried to "get by" spiritually and wait for God's blessings, I was not living the full life God had in store for me. Only through giving God my whole heart, and faithfully acting in anticipation of his goodness, have I been able to experience him in new ways.

The questions of "Will I be alone?" and "Will I be successful?" still plague my mind daily, and literally every day I have to re-learn to trust God's provision in these arenas. But remarkably, each time I surrender these areas to God, he allows me to glimpse his infinite goodness and continues to lead me into a secure place in Him… still single, still waiting, but with a joy that only comes through surrender.

Psalm 73: 25-26, Ephesians 1:3, Psalm 34:10

Ask yourself:
What things do I desire, but do not have? Do I believe that having these things will make me happy or content?

Listen to God’s voice:
God says that He has given us everything we need through a relationship with Him. In what areas of your life is this difficult to believe?

Meditate on the qualities of God you cherish the most. (He is patient, forgiving, etc.) Consider what life might be like without these qualities. What about with them? Thank God for displaying these qualities in your life.

About Rebekah:
Proud daughter of Robin Weidner, author of Secure in Heart–Overcoming Insecurity in a Woman’s Life, Rebekah graduated last year from the University of Illinois with a degree in Advertising. She is 23 years old, and is currently living and working in Kiev, Ukraine, where she teaches English and volunteers at the local orphanages. Rebekah has a passion for travel, and hopes someday soon to serve God on a mission team

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